Never be without them/ men should Never wear white

So I haven't had a baby in the house in 6 years, but I am telling you I will never live without baby wipes in my house!  They clean everything!!!  I am not joking!  Faces, hands, counter tops, stains out of clothing, walls, eye buggers out of dogs eyes, human eyes, wipe down your car, wipe down anything.  They are quite amazing!  Who knew!  The getting stains out of clothing is brilliant when you are at a restaurant with children, and a husband who insists that he can "handle" wearing a white golf shirt.  NO man should wear a white golf shirt it is a guarantee (shall we say OMEN) that you will get something on it.  So my husband bought a white golf hat, seriously why, I say to him, "that will be dirty by the end of the day".  Of course I have no idea what I am talking about, so he says.  I tell my girlfriend who also says that I am being too harsh on him, seriously wondering who's side she is on, ANYWAY.  I text her a photo of his hat, let me say that it was 3 hours later than when we had last talked, and low and behold there was 2 huge fingerprint dirt marks on the hat.  WHO"S LAUGHING NOW???   Honestly, just stay away from the white anything.  When I met my husband he had a linen white suit, (GASP) he was NOT John Travolta.  That quickly went to goodwill, I should have learned from that, or rather he should have.  I swear every now and then he looks for that suit, like it's ever going to make a come back... We don't live in Miami thank you.  The only way you should wear a linen white suit is if you are going to be a extra in a remake of Miami Vice!